Friday, February 1, 2008




My Place in my Family

I’m a middle child and being a middle child is very good, but also very difficult. The middle position has given me some possibilities that other siblings usually don’t have; however it has given me some responsibilities that my siblings don’t have either. Being in the middle of your family could bring you many advantages, but also some disadvantages.

One of the most important advantages of being the middle child is the very good relationship with the other siblings. In my case, there are three children in the family, so I’m the closest in age to both of my siblings. The nearness in age with my siblings, sometimes, is very helpful to share our experiences and thoughts, and that’s why I can have a friendship with both. Being the middle child is a factor for having a good relationship because the nearness in age can bring the opportunity to share many things. With my older sister I have a closer relationship than I have with my younger brother because I’m only two years younger than my sister, but I’m six years older than my brother. However, because I’m closer in age with my brother than he is with my sister, he often turns to me for some advice.

Another advantage to being a middle child is the lesson of earning your own things. Sometimes, middle children have to earn their own things because there isn't anybody that gives them what they want. However, this is a good thing because they learn that they aren’t going to receive all like a gift, but they have to earn their things. As Dr. Kevin Leman says, middle children often want to have their own things and also are most organized and responsible, because they don’t have someone that is helping them all the time (to confront “Middle children and their position on their family”, lines 32-40). As Dr. Leman says middle children usually are more independent, but this doesn’t mean that they want to go away and dwindle their bonds with their siblings in the future. The lesson of earning their own things gives an independent feeling, but the nearness to their siblings, also building a very strong bond with them. I’m independent because of my parents, and this had been a very good lesson for me because now I know that I have to work hard for my things and to be successful in my life, but this way of thinking doesn’t make me distant from my siblings.

Even if being a middle child is very good, this position in the family can bring some disadvantages. Sometimes, middle children feel that their parents ignore them, especially when the younger sibling is born. In that moment they feel that they aren’t as important as their siblings are because they were used to have so much attention and now they don’t have that. When the younger sibling born, as Dr. Lemon says that middle children feel that they don’t have their parents attention that the other siblings have because the older sibling is special for being the first, and the new sibling is special for being the baby, but they feel that they don’t have a place anymore.

Another disadvantage that I have in my family for being the middle child is that if my siblings don’t do what they have to do, I have to cover them. Usually this responsibility is for the older one, but in my case I’m the one that has to be the responsible one, because my older sister is a little bit disorganized. When my parents travel and my siblings and I are alone, they put me in charge of the money and all house chores. That doesn’t mean that I have to do it all, but that I have to organize my siblings and play the mother role. Although I like to help, this role can be very difficult.

Being the middle child is very good and difficult at the same time, but in general it is very good being in the middle. Middle children have some responsibilities and sometimes they can feel that they aren’t as important as their siblings are, but they learn a lot of things and they have the huge advantage of being closer to each of their siblings.

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